Friday, January 24, 2014
My New Year Realization
Notice I said realization and not resolution.
I took a bit of a hiatus from Jesus over the Christmas holiday. It wasn't intentional. It just sort of happened.
My Ladies' Home Group took a break, well, since so many of us were traveling or hosting family.
The morning Bible Study I've been attending took a break for all the same reasons.
I didn't serve at church for a few weeks.
We didn't go to church for a few Sunday's because the kiddos were sick.
I didn't even crack my Bible open for several weeks. I was doing good if I finished a full prayer before I fell asleep at night.
Why? Because I was busy? Because it was Christmas? Because I had better things to do?
Honestly, it was all of the above.
"God understands." "It's Christmas for goodness sakes!" "I'll have time to spend with Jesus tomorrow." These are all things I said to myself.
Then the new year started, and it was time to get back into my routine.
Bible Study Wednesday mornings. Serving Wednesday afternoons. Home Group Thursday night. Daily diving back into God's Word .
And something surprisingly hit me that week. I was simply and quietly glad to be back with Him. And I realized that I had felt spiritually dry for those weeks while on hiatus. And it was odd, because during my "time off" I didn't notice myself feeling that way. It wasn't until I got back in His presence that I realized how much I had needed Him for those weeks.
This is why I need a Savior. Because I am weak, and He is strong. I let my plans and my to-do lists take precedence over my relationship with Christ. And this is why God is great, and God is good. Because he didn't slap me over the head and say, "Hey, Big Shot, with your plans and your to-do lists! After all I've done for you, this is how you show you're grateful? You gonna spend time with me today, or what?"
No, he reminded me very quietly, and with open arms whispered to my heart, "Leigh, you are my daughter, and I've missed you the last few weeks. I'm so glad to have you back."
And that's the Jesus I'm falling more and more in love with everyday as he changes me through His Word and through the community of people he's surrounded me with. He loves to see his children come back to Him whether we've been gone for two weeks, 2 months, or 2 decades.
I'm blown away at how He continually covers me with grace and love even when my messed-up heart and actions say that my agenda is more important than His. The more I spend time with Him, the more I know Him, and the more he changes my heart to be more like His.
It's good stuff!